If this wasn't actually happening to me, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't believe it was possible.
People have always told me that buying a house was stressful, and I did believe them but, if I'm entirely honest, I didn't understand just how stressful things seem to get. And not just because it's a huge change, or because it's most likely the most expensive thing you'll ever do. Because there is SO MUCH stuff that you just will not understand.
Unless you're like a solicitor or a chartered surveyor. Man, why didn't I choose one of those for a career?
Anyway, here's the current situation I find myself in. I think I'd find it funny if it weren't so inherently ridiculous.
The Failure of House #1
It seemed pretty good, to begin with. Compared to pretty much every other house we'd seen it was heaven. Clean, bright and newly refurbished - tick. Happy faces! Until we went through the somewhat torturous process of getting an offer accepted on the property, that is. I honestly never thought I'd have to deal with an estate agent who would FORGET to call me back when I tried to make an offer on a house but, yes, that actually happened.
After two pretty painful weeks of 'haggling,' which seemed to mainly involve the seller not budging and us occasionally adding a couple of grand to our offer, we got the offer accepted, did a little happy dance and went off to the bank like, hey, remember us, still wanna give us that money yeah? Thankfully yes, they did.
Though I think I did something you should probably never ever do when trying to get a mortgage. The nice man from the bank said "Just to check, your circumstances haven't changed at all since I last spoke to you, have they?" and I thought it would be appropriate to reply "Well no, apart from those 7 credit cards I took out." Thankfully he saw the funny side but still, probably not a good time for a larf, is it...
Anyway, that was all going okay, until they found damp. And my dreams died. Because this lovely, newly refurbished house had all the exterior tarting up you ever dreamed of, but it was pretty rancid on the inside. Sort of the house version of putting makeup on a corpse.
It turned out that it was not the one.
The Whirlwind of House #2
For the first house, we were very careful and calculated and viewed the property three times before we put an offer in. Second time around, things moved a lot more quickly, partly, I think, because we actually just had a much better idea of what we were looking for, what type of things we should run screaming from and how to play the game.
So we viewed house number two once on a Saturday afternoon, then made an offer first thing on Monday morning. By the Monday evening, the offer was accepted and it was party time all around. Bank agreed to lend us a little more money because, and I believe this is universally accepted, the only way is up, and off went the surveyor for the valuation.
Yesterday afternoon, my boyfriend called me to tell me that said survey has found "Japanese Knotweed in the vicinity of the property."
You're joking, right?
I honestly thought he was making that up at first because it sounds so utterly, obviously ridiculous. Like some sort of Brothers Grimm twisted Fairy Tale plant that tries to eat princesses and has to be chopped down by some dude with an axe.
Japanese Knotweed is an actual real thing. People brought it over here because it looks pretty, not realising that dude it's gonna go mental and literally chew up the foundations of your house. Then it's gonna spread, and eat the foundations of my house, too. You get the idea.
Bit of a mardy cow, this plant. And apparently, mortgage lenders aren't so thrilled at lending against a house that could be chewed up by an overgrown weed. I know, weird huh?
So the bank is getting a specialist in now to find out exactly what the hell is going on. It could be nothing, as in just an actual normal weed and the dude got a bit overexcited the other day, or it could be time to deal with either getting it removed or saying goodbye to house number two.
PLEASE MAKE IT GO AWAY.
I think I may be turning out to be incredibly unlucky in house-love.
If anybody has any tips or soothing words for me, they'd be much appreciated. In the meantime, I'm off to binge watch 7 episodes of Pretty Little Liars. No, you're wasting your day. Loves xx